Terrible Things
by Copleface
Summary: Lily/James. Starting from their 6th year at Hogwarts. Lily, recently estranged from her best friend, is determined that his absence won't affect her. Rated M for possible later chapters
1. Heart of Gold

Lily Evans was the cleverest witch in her year, no doubt about it.

At sixteen, her spell work was far beyond the standard of her classmates, and while such superiority would normally incite jealousy in her peers. It was the combination of the twinkle in her eye and her self-depreciating humour that made it extremely difficult to dislike Lily Evans.

She was not snobby, or exclusive. She made time for everyone; she was modest in her brilliance and never made anyone feel inadequate. She was a kind, generous girl, who would fiercely defend any of her friends. She was loyal to the last, a natural leader so it made sense she would become a prefect.

Everyone loved Lily Evans.

Of course, it didn't hurt that she was stunningly beautiful. Her long red hair cascaded down her back and curled delightfully at her shoulders, creating the infamous mane that was the desired effect of every other hairstyle of every other girl at Hogwarts. Her bright green eyes were enough for anyone to need to do a double-take. But it was her smile that had all the boys at Hogwarts pining after her. When those plump, pink lips pulled back to reveal the rows of white teeth, the room seemed to take on a slightly-dreamy quality. In fact, you wouldn't be out of place to compare Lily to a lion. Not unkindly of course, Lily retained all the qualities associated with the creature; it's fierceness, loyalty, bravery. It made her the perfect Gryffindor

Lily, as was her nature, never noticed the effect she had on boys, and almost never flirted. In fact, the only boy she ever felt a connection to was Severus Snape.

Sev was the one who told her she was a witch, when she was all of nine years old. They'd become best friends, but even then he'd had a dark undertone to his behaviour that she didn't like. But she ignored it, because she was a witch! And here she had a wizard best friend, who was going to take on the wizarding world with her.

She should have taken his cruel streak, the way her treated her sister, Petunia, as a hint, a warning, for what was to come.

You see, the reason Lily worked so hard in school, was because she was a Muggle-Born, and she would do anything to prove her worth at the school. The prejudice against her (mostly from Slytherins) was just a standard bullying all the Muggle-Born's at Hogwarts went through. But there was a war going on, and Lily's genealogy was the very subject of the war.

Lord Voldemort wanted to dominate the Muggles and Muggle-Born's, believing them to be the scum of the earth, and had a loyal following of people called "Death Eater's." It was widely known that there was a group of trainee Death Eater's at Hogwarts, who had every intention of joining the ranks once they left school. Unfortunately, Severus was part of this group, and at the end of the last school year, after she had been defending him all year to her friends- "He just hangs around with them for protection." or "He needs to have _some _friends in Slytherin." He'd turned around and called her a Mudblood. The worst thing he could have done, in Lily's book. She'd played it off at the time, but it had hurt her deeply. She knew he was no good, but she'd still lost her best friend, but she told herself, every time she'd seen him over that summer, that they were different. They'd chosen sides, or perhaps even pushed into them. They were not meant to be, and that was fine.

Because there _was_ one other boy.

Though it was only recently she could admit it to herself, she had always held a candle for a certain James Potter. Although it was a small flame, continually flickering, becoming extinguished whenever he displayed his bullying behaviour, it was definitely there. In the dark of night, it warmed the pit of her stomach as she drifted to sleep.

Of course it was totally ridiculous; the boy was an arrogant, bullying, toe-rag. He was a hero on the Quidditch pitch, which gave him rather too high an opinion of himself. However, he also had a rather high opinion of Lily, and while his consistent efforts to impress her became rather tiresome, she was still flattered every time he asked her out.

While Lily was never short of male admirers, she never seemed to notice. Especially since most of them didn't have the gall to ask her out or even flirt with her. Instead they admired from afar, sure that the beautiful and talented Lily Evans would not consider them to be a viable romantic prospect, especially not with the equally beautiful and talented James Potter after her.

Lily could not deny her physical attraction to James, but then again neither could any other girl at Hogwarts. His shock of jet- black hair and lean physique meant he too had many admirers of the opposite sex (and of the same sex, if you are inclined to believe gossip about a certain Mr. Pettigrew).

So, Lily could not help her thoughts from drifting to him while on the Hogwarts Express, on her way to beginning her 6th year at Hogwarts. Lily was determined this year would be better than the last, but she was already feeling Severus' absence like a dead weight on her chest. Ordinarily, they would travel to Hogwarts in a compartment alone together, since neither of them seemed to be able to see eye to eye on their friends. But this year, Lily brushed past him, coldly, after the prefects meeting and settled into a compartment with her friends Mary, Marlene and Emmeline. For the first hour she joined in their excited chatter, sharing stories of her summer, but then she felt her concentration begin to wane.

"Lily?"

Marlene's voice snapped her out of her stupor, and she turned her attention away from the window.

"Are you alright? You keep drifting off?" She asked, her voice dripping with concern.

"Sorry, just got distracted." Lily mumbled in reply, and turned to join back into the conversation which had evolved to be about which subjects they were all taking this year. Lily was in the middle of telling the girls which ones she was planning on taking when the compartment door slid open.

She knew it was coming sooner or later, but she had desperately hoped for later, when she was much more prepared for the sight of him.


	2. The Invasion

Hey :D Thanks for the reviews! I've a good bit of this written so the updates should be consistent for a while

It was, of course, James Potter and his cronies. They called themselves The Marauders, and liked to cause trouble wherever they went. With the exception of Remus Lupin, she held them in contempt. They were seen as the "cool kids" at Hogwarts, but Lily had no patience for their juvenile behaviour. Potter, it seemed, had grown several inches over the summer, and his skin retained a light gold colour from wherever he'd been on holidays. Not only that, but his shoulders had filled out quite a bit, and there was a slight shadow over jaw and upper lip. Lily hated to admit it, but Potter was a _man. _And quite a good-looking one at that.

"Ladies! Lovely to see you all again and might I add, Evans, you are looking particularly beautiful today." James' eyes slid over Lily, making her feel incredibly uncomfortable as though she were on show.

Normally, she would come up with a clever retort and reduce James to speechlessness, but today she was in no mood to engage in such banter.

"Shove off, Potter." She mumbled, keeping her eyes on the rain-splattered window, not wishing to see his smug face.

Only, she found herself wishing more and more that she could look at his smug face, because however smug it was, Lily felt an unexplainable draw to it-to him.

"What, no witty reply Evans? Not going to cut me down to size, tell me how annoying and immature I am?"

He was pushing her buttons, trying to get a reaction out of her, but Lily was determined she would not rise to it.

"Whatever you say, Potter." She adapted her voice so it retained a cool, indifferent quality and reached past Mary to grab a copy of Witch Weekly to hide behind.

He looked a bit bewildered at her answer, and looked around at the Marauders for help, but they didn't seem to be paying attention, instead opting to sit down and chat with the other girls, having been witness to the normal Lily-James banter many times.

Lily was avoiding James' gaze, pretending to be immersed in an article about cleaning spells. This task became even more difficult as he took the seat next to her, to annoy her, no doubt. As he sat, she caught a whiff of a clean, pine smell that she couldn't help but continue to inhale.

"Evans?"

Lily did not reply, instead keeping her eyes trained on the magazine in front of her, the words of which were now blurry and out of focus as her mind raced.

"Evans, are you alright?" James' voice was now the one that dripped with concern.

Shocked, she looked up from her magazine, and her eyes widened at the tenderness in his expression. Gone was the smirk she despised so much, but was nevertheless endeared by, it was instead replaced by a worrisome crease in his brow.

This sudden change in behaviour shocked Lily so much she almost fell off her seat.

In all the time James had pursued her, she hadn't once considered that he was being _serious. _James, ever the prankster, was probably just messing with her. He'd never asked her out in a serious sense; he'd never sat her down and given her a reason to do it. She'd thought it was nothing more than a running gag between him and Sirius Black, perhaps even a bet of sorts. Yet here he was, with a softness in his expression she'd never cared to notice before.

Lily was not the type to swoon, and scolded herself there and then, when she found her resolve melting slightly at the genuine affection James was displaying.

"I'm fine, Potter." She insisted. She could feel her cheeks reddening as she turned away to the window. No one else in the compartment seemed to notice what was going on, all caught up in idle chatter with each other.

"If this is about Snape…"

Lily's temper flared. How had he guessed so easily? Of course, her sullen mood was about Severus, but she wasn't about to let him know that, especially since he bullied Sev. She didn't deny that he might deserve it, and gave as good as he got, but she didn't tolerate bullying of any kind.

"It's none of your business, Potter. Not like you'd care anyway." She answered, determined to keep a level head.

"He was bad news, Evans-"

"And you're any better?" Lily's eyes flashed dangerously. "Honestly, Potter, just leave me alone."

James' face momentarily fell, but he quickly masked any hurt before Lily could notice.

"I'd never have anything to do with the Dark Arts, you know that." He replied indignantly.

"That doesn't mean you're a good person. You're a bully and I want nothing to do with you." Lily hid behind her copy of Witch Weekly once again, and James was forced to admit defeat, her harsh tone indicating it definitely wouldn't be clever to push her.

The pair of them sat side by side in sullen silence for the rest of the journey, their friends barely noticing Lily's red cheeks and James' uncharacteristic scowl.


	3. Changing Tactics

Hey! Thank you all so much for the reviews, I've taken into account what you all said and hope I can improve, although it might take a while for the changes to come into effect as I've some of it already written. Thanks again and I hope you enjoy :D

Lily managed to get by her first week of school without incidence, avoiding both Severus and Potter as she bustled around the school; trying to keep up with the massive amounts of homework they were being set. This task proved difficult as her and Potter had most of the same classes together, apart from when she was in Arithmancy and he in Muggle Studies. He continually smirked at her in the corridors, and called after her as she made her way back up to the castle after Herbology, though he made no allusions to their incident on the Hogwarts express, for which she was grateful. She was terribly embarrassed at losing her temper, having always tried to maintain an air of grace and dignity. There was something about him, though, that made her want to smack him and kiss him at the same time.

However, her staunch avoidance of him ended on Monday morning, when, after spending the weekend hiding out in the library, she went to Transfiguration and found everyone lining up outside. Professor McGonagall had not yet arrived, probably directing first-years around the castle. She passed the group of Ravenclaws hovering near the door and made her way to the end of the line of Gryffindors, averting her eyes when she caught sight of The Marauders laughing loudly at some joke Sirius had told. She stood at the end of the line, silently cursing herself for leaving breakfast early without her friends. She instead attempted to immerse herself in her textbook, revising how to do an advanced Vanishing spell.

"Why are you reading your textbook, Evans? Surely that's all you did all summer?" She groaned inwardly, wishing she could vanish Potter instead. However, she opted for ignoring him, not wishing to lose her temper with him again.

He leaned on the wall beside her, rather too close for comfort. He pretended to be reading over Lily's shoulder, when in actual fact, he was trying to inhale her scent. Unbeknownst to Lily, James had often done this while feigning a number of things including: dropping something near her, 'accidentally' brushing against her in the corridor, sitting quite close to her in the common room. She smelt of sunshine on skin and daisies in the summer. She simply radiated warmth. To everyone except James of course, she didn't give him the time of day.

"Not trying to avoid me, are you Evans?" Lily glanced up at his face, hovering several inches above her own. Gone was the sincere concern it held on the Hogwarts express, instead, his usual smirk graced his countenance.

"Not avoiding you, no. I'm just simply not bothered." Lily replied, turning the page in her book.

James' hand went through his hair, making the mop of hair even messier than it was before.

"If you go out with me, I'll stop bothering you. Promise." His voice, while intended to be jokey and casual, carried an air of hope.

"Yes, Potter, because that makes perfect sense." Lily replied coldly, before snapping her book shut and walking down the corridor to join her friends who'd just arrived.

"So does that mean yes?" James called after her, not caring who heard.

"No!" Lily shouted back at him, not even bothering to turn around. She sighed to herself. Didn't he know when to quit? Although, she thought to herself, you don't really want him to quit, do you? You like the attention he pays you, you find him endearing even though you know it would never work between the two of you, it is kind of nice to know someone likes you, even if you wished he didn't for his own sake.

"Lily?" Once again, Marlene's voice snapped her out of her stupor. "You're drifting off again."

"Sorry." She apologised hurriedly, and followed Marlene into the classroom.

As September melted into October, Lily found herself enjoying the company of one James Potter more and more. While he had, in no way, stopped bullying younger students/Slytherins, he had, in a lot of ways, become more mature. Instead of spending hours plotting pranks involving Filch, the charms corridor and a bag full of Dungbombs, he could be found crouching over homework, or even in the library. He'd even stopped badgering Lily incessantly about going out with him and opted for having actual conversations with her. Granted, these conversations always seemed pre-meditated and scripted on his part, and about subjects Lily barely knew anything about herself. Still, it was nice to see him taking a slightly different approach to his pursuit.

However, Lily couldn't help feel an absence in her heart. A tiny little hole, a constant niggle in the back of her mind. It was, of course, Severus. He had taken to ignoring her, perhaps realising that any attempt at reconciliation would take more than he was willing to give.

Lily couldn't understand why he'd chosen the path he did, but he did, and she knew she had to put her relationship with Severus behind her. It was so difficult though, Severus had been her best friend, her confidant and though she had many friends at the school, she had no one who knew her like Severus. There was no one who could brighten her day quite like he used to, but it had been many years since he'd managed it. Although she'd known it was coming, their estrangement didn't hurt any less and once the anger she'd felt towards him had faded there was nothing left to feel except the loss of the person who knew her most in the world. However much she despised who he had become, she still loved who he used to be.

Severus however, seemed to be dealing with his loss quite well. Having lost the only connection he had to the defence, he was able to throw himself whole-heartedly into practising the Dark Arts. Lily had, on numerous occasions, heard tell of stories involving him, Mulciber, and a few first-years down in the dungeons. Lily tried her best to tell herself these stories were just rumours, but she knew in her heart they were true. Severus and his little gang of mini Death Eaters were gaining a rather nasty reputation around the school, terrifying most.

Some might say they were the anti-Marauders, the dark side. While the Marauders were no angels, Severus and his group made them look tame. As a result of his new-found power within the castle walls, Severus walked with a kind of swagger and an arrogant smirk that didn't suit him. It made Lily want to slap it off and bring him back down to earth, but then she'd remember that they weren't friends anymore, and he could do as he pleased.

"Knut for your thoughts, Evans?" It was Potter, again. He'd collapsed into the armchair next to hers in the common room, having just come in from Quidditch practise. He still had his training robes on, mud clinging to them.

"I'm thinking you should take those robes off before you get mud everywhere." Lily replied, keeping her gaze trained on the flames dancing in the fireplace.

The arrogant smirk had returned.

"Oh, want to see me take off my robes, do you now Evans?"

"I didn't mean it like that." Lily said, impatiently, getting flustered at the thought.

"Cause, y'know you can just ask. Anytime, Evans, just give me the nod." He winked at her infuriatingly before hopping out of his chair in the direction of the boys dormitories.

Lily rolled her eyes at his retreating figure, clearly being back on the Quidditch pitch was doing wonders for Potter's ego. She was torn between wanting Gryffindor to win in their upcoming match against Hufflepuff and not wanting to have to listen to Potter gloating for weeks on end. With a sigh, she got up and headed for her own dormitory. The rest of the Gryffindor girls were already in there, getting ready for bed, talking and laughing. Normally Lily would join in with ease, but ever since she got back from the summer holidays she'd been finding her friend's idle gossip more and more tedious.


	4. Getting Friendly with the Giant Squid

Heya, I know it's moving really slow, but bear with me? Time will be skipping very fast in this so it doesn't drag on too much. Hope you enjoy! Reviews, subscriptionts etc. are always appreciated :D

* * *

><p>She sat on the end of her bed, and with a great heaving sigh, plastered a smile on her face. It wasn't her friend's fault she was so unhappy, she knew, but she couldn't help but be slightly annoyed with them for being so oblivious to her plight.<p>

This year was already becoming the worst of all Lily's years at Hogwarts. Often, she'd lock herself in the first-floor bathroom to cry, but Myrtle didn't take to kindly to Lily and often teased her. Lily put up with this though, because she felt like she had nowhere else to go. If she went to her dormitory to have a good cry, the other girls would ask questions. How could she explain it was the absence of someone who they all despise, and rightly so, that was making her so upset? Madam Pince would certainly boot her out of the library for her sobbing and the Owlery was much too cold this time of year.

The first-floor bathroom would have to do, Myrtle may not sympathise with her, but at least she wouldn't tell anyone, or ask questions Lily really couldn't answer.

Lily had never felt more alone, and normally she loved spending Christmas at Hogwarts with Severus, but this year she jumped at the chance to leave the castle that had been making her so miserable for months now. Even a few weeks with her sister, Petunia and her ghastly boyfriend, Vernon couldn't put her off.

So, on the last day of term, with her bags packed and her resolve firm, she set off for home. She was only a short way out of the castle doors, however, when she heard a voice call out to her. She turned, already impatient with whoever it was, and saw that it was, of course, James Potter.

After winning Gryffindors first match of the season, he'd taken to walking around the school like he was a prince and the castle was his quarters. His head had inflated so much, he seemed to have abandoned his attempts to seem more mature and intelligent to impress Lily and instead reverted back to his old ways of throwing his stolen snitch around the common room, hoping to catch her eye. He'd also taken to hexing more and more people in the corridors, much to Lily's chagrin. His attempts at stimulating conversation had stopped, and he was back to flirting even more outrageously. Lily wasn't sure if this was a blessing or not, while his attempts at conversation were slightly pathetic, and exceedingly dull (they were often on the subject of Ancient Egyptian wizards, or the history of Ollivander's) they were slightly less degrading than being asked out in a crowded corridor while the whole school listens.

"Evans! Weren't going to leave without saying goodbye, were you?"

"Actually, Potter, that's exactly what I planned on doing." Lily turned around and continued down the castle steps.

"Come on, aren't you going to miss me?" He had that cheeky smirk plastered over his face again as he pushed his way ahead of Lily and blocked her path.

"No, in fact, I can't wait to spend a few weeks away from you." Lily spat, perhaps a little too harshly, and pushed by him roughly. This didn't seem to faze him however, as he just grabbed her arm to keep her from leaving.

"Let. Go. Of. Me." Lily grunted through clenched teeth, she was thoroughly not in the mood for this.

"Evans, calm down. It's just a laugh." He replied, the look on his face made it clear he thought she was going mad. Maybe she was.

"Everything's just a laugh for you, Potter. You don't have a care in the fucking world, do you?" It wasn't like Lily to swear, and Potter's eyes widened almost comically. He still didn't let go of her arm though.

So Lily did what any other logical witch in this situation would do. She pulled out her wand using her other arm, and blasted him off.

She hadn't intended it to be a strong spell, just enough for him to let go. However, with the anger thundering through her veins, she seemed to have been a little bit more forceful than intended, since Potter went flying through the air, and landed fifty feet away, on the bank of the lake. She watched as Potter pulled himself up, though the fall must have disorientated him because he promptly lost his balance and fell into the lake.

Lily stood there, shocked. She was torn between wanting to laugh at the expression on Potter's face as his head bobbed on the surface of the water, and crying with anguish over the fact that she'd probably just alienated the last remaining person who put up with her at this school.

Without a further thought, Lily turned and fled. She could hear Potter effing and blinding behind her, but she didn't turn around again.

What had she done? Yes, Potter could be annoying, but he'd never tried to anything but impress her. Still, Lily couldn't feel too bad about it. After all, how many younger students had he bullied and tormented. Maybe it was high time Potter got a taste of his own medicine, though Lily wished it hadn't been her who had given it to him. It went against everything Lily stood for, and- oh Merlin, what if she got in trouble? No, no, Potter wouldn't tell, would he? He wouldn't want to lose face. Still, what if someone had seen? Maybe she should write to Potter, to apologise? She knew he was staying at Hogwarts with Sirius over Christmas. She was sorry, after all, though more looking out for her own best interests than his.

It was settled then. Once she arrived home, she would send Potter a letter of apology via her trusty owl, Athenia.

Oh Merlin, she thought again, _home._


	5. Letters from the Devil

Why had she agreed to come? She was only in the door and Petunia had already started her snide remarks. Her horrid boyfriend, Vernon hadn't arrived yet so there was no one to distract her from calling Lily a freak every chance she got.

Her welcome dinner wasn't much better. After Lily had arrived, her mother insisted on having a 'lovely family dinner' as she called it. Lily doubted very much that it would be lovely since her mother had invited Vernon to come and meet her, and since Vernon didn't know anything about magic yet, Lily would have to keep fairly quiet around him lest something slip out.

Vernon arrived at the house at exactly six o'clock in a grey suit that stretched tightly over his protruding stomach. He had a thin, sparse moustache on his upper lip and tiny beady eyes. They were so small, in fact, that Lily couldn't even tell what colour they were.

He extended his hand cordially upon meeting Lily.

"Lily, so lovely to finally meet you. Petunia's told me so much about you." The expression on his face told Lily that they hadn't all been good things. In fact, Lily was surprised to hear he'd even heard of her before now, Petunia had taken to pretending she didn't exist to everyone outside the family.

"And, you, Vernon." I replied politely, letting a small smile grace her lips as his pudgy hand gripped her own rather too tightly.

Still, at least her parents were happy to see her. Her father, ever the strong, silent type, swept her up in a big hug the second he saw her. Her mother kissed both her cheeks and beamed proudly at her.

"We've had a letter from your school, darling-"

The bottom fell out of Lily's stomach, what if this was about Potter? Though surely her mother wouldn't be smiling at her if she was in trouble?

"-Professor McGonagall wanted to let us know how well you've been working, she says you're the best student in the entire school! Oh sweetheart, we're so proud of you."

Her body flooded with relief as she pulled her into a tight hug. She should've known Potter wouldn't tell. Not that Professor McGonagall would've believed him anyway.

Her mother even apologised for Petunia's behaviour towards her, even though it was hardly her mother's fault. It saddened her deeply to know the two were no longer friends, barely even sisters. Once upon a time, she could tell Tuney anything, but Lily being a witch had ruined their relationship. Just like being a _good _witch had ruined her relationship with Severus.

She would never apologise for who she was, but she just wished it wasn't as lonely. After a stilted dinner in which Vernon spent the entire time telling everyone what an affluent background he came from while shovelling copious amounts of mashed potatoes into his enormous mouth, Lily retired to her bedroom. She was plagued with fatigue, but instead of going to bed, she pulled a piece of parchment and a quill out of her trunk. She would write a quick apology note to Potter, and that would be that, no harm done.

Dear Potter,  
>I am deeply sorry for hexing you earlier and making you fall into the lake. It was terribly uncharacteristic of me, and I sincerely hope you can accept my apology so we can put this incident behind us.<br>Yours sincerely,  
>Lily Evans.<p>Lily thought this would do fine, simple and to the point, and called Athenia down from her perch.<p>

"Bring this to James Potter in Gryffindor tower, will you?" Lily whispered to the tawny bird. The owl blinked her large eyes in response and took off out of the open window.

Lily closed the window after her and, at last, clambered into her warm, comfy bed.

A few days later, she was having breakfast with her family. Her mother was regaling a hilarious tale of some disastrous garden party she'd been at and Lily was snorting with laughter over her eggs while Petunia frowned at her disapprovingly.

"And after all that, Mrs. Mason decides that she's fed up with her husbands behaviour and pours her entire drink over his head and storms out! But- What's that tapping?"

Lily, who had been too preoccupied with her mother's story, hadn't noticed an incessant tapping noise on the window.

Her mother walked over to the window and opened it, so a soaking wet Athenia could fly in and land on the table, clearly exhausted from her journey.

Lily giggled even harder at the owl spread out comically over the table, it was true, she was getting old, but Lily couldn't bear to have her replaced. Petunia's eyes bulged at the sight, looking scandalised as the tip of the owl's wing rested in the butter dish.

"What if the neighbours see?" She spluttered, a coffee cup held halfway to her lips.

"Oh calm down Petunia, it's just a bird." Her mother waved her arm carelessly, "No one will notice."

Petunia, throwing her mother a dirty look, hid behind the newspaper, clearly annoyed.

"Lily, what's on Athenia's leg?" Her mother asked, resuming her position at the table. Lily reached over and pulled a scroll from the owl's leg.

Lily hadn't been expecting a reply; she just presumed Athenia wouldn't hang around long enough to give Potter the opportunity. She unfurled the note, wishing her family would stop looking at her.

Dearest Evans.  
>I'll forget about it if you go out with me?<br>Forever yours,  
>James Potter.<p>Lily giggled again in spite of herself.<p>

"Who's it from, dear?" Her Mum looked at her questioningly. "A boy?" Her mother's eyes glistened cheekily.

"No one." Lily mumbled as she felt her cheeks go red. She shoved the note in her back pocket, feeling everyone's eyes burning into her. Obviously Potter was joking; he was above blackmail, even if it was just marginally.

Everything was back to normal, no harm done. She could go back to Hogwarts without thinking she was going to get in trouble. The smile was quickly wiped off her face, however, as she thought of what 'normal' now entailed for her at Hogwarts. Could she bear another term of crying in the bathroom? She felt like she'd lost the people closet to her. She'd lost Petunia at home and Severus at school, so how was she to make it better? She didn't know what it was, but she knew the answer to happiness was not moping around feeling sorry for herself. If neither of them could accept her, then it was their problem, not hers. She didn't see either of them moping around, feeling bad, wasting their time.

She scolded herself for spending the last few months wallowing in her own misery. She'd lost her best friends, yes, but that didn't mean she couldn't make new ones. She was sure if she spent some more time with the girls from her dormitory they'd become closer and she'd be more comfortable confiding in them.

She'd just have to _try._


	6. Excellent Observational Skills

Sorry for the wait. Thanks again for the reviews! :D

* * *

><p>The rest of Lily's Christmas break was quite enjoyable, with the exception being the presence of Vernon. She hated to think that her children might one day call him 'Uncle'. After that first dinner, Vernon had continued to give them insight into his narrow-minded world. It made Lily's skin crawl to think that her sister had chosen such a bigoted man to spend her time with.<p>

But she had gotten through it with a smile plastered on her face and several silencing charms running through her mind.

It was almost a relief to get back to Hogwarts, and that was saying something. Term didn't start until the next day so the common room was as loud as ever. Normally, Lily would've gone to bed rather than sit among the chaos, but she forced herself into conversation with the girls. It was quite boring, and they couldn't really hear each other very well. Well, she couldn't because James Potter was in the corner entertaining a crowd with his snitch again and kept sending her covert glances.

To say it was distracting her would be an understatement.

Because she was sending her own covert glances his way, though she was much better at it than he was. Though it had only been two weeks since she had last seen him, Potter seemed to have grown at least an inch. He had the sleeves of his robes pushed up over his muscled arms. Lily was entranced by the flex of his muscles as he caught his snitch, and the way one of his veins popped as he gripped it tightly.

Lily shook her head of these thoughts and turned back to her friends. She'd never live it down if Potter caught her looking.

"Evans, you're back!" Potter's voice sounded behind her a few minutes later, his crowd of admirers having dispersed.

"You have excellent observational skills, Potter." I replied dryly. The girls all stopped their conversation and turned around to watch us.

"I must, because I noticed you staring at me over there." He said, smirking at Lily as he pulled up a chair beside hers.

"I was only looking at you because you kept looking at me." Not her best comeback, but Lily was flustered at the idea of being caught staring.

"How would you know I was looking at you if you weren't looking at me?" He questioned her, his infuriating smirk still playing around his mouth.

"I…I," Lily couldn't think of a good enough answer. "Oh just stop staring at me Potter."

"Why?"

"Because I said so!" Lily's voice was becoming very shrill and indignant.

"I can't help myself, you're just so pretty, Evans." He winked at her.

Lily flushed at his compliment as her friends giggled around her.

"Slick git." She muttered, averting his gaze from his smug face. Her eyes swivelled around the room, looking for something to distract her from her James Potter's aggravating presence.

They landed on an abandoned copy of The Daily Prophet; its headline seemed to scream at her. She didn't even hear what Potter said next, the idle chatter in the common room sounded distant now. Lily grabbed the paper without thinking; she hadn't read the Daily Prophet since before Christmas break.

**Missing Muggleborns**

_7-1-78_

_At 2am on New Years day, the Ministry received intelligence that over seven muggle-borns who lived around the village of Ottery St. Catchpole have gone missing. Muggle witnesses from the village claimed to have seen 'masked, hooded figures' and several members of the wizarding community confirmed sightings of Death Eaters apparating into the village. Many wizards and witched attempted to cast protective spells over muggle households in an attempt to save their neighbours, but it seemed this time the Death Eaters only had eyes for muggle-born witches and wizards. Among the kidnapped where Amelia Staunton and Imelda Figg, both 39, twin sisters. Mrs. Figg had been visiting her sister, her husband and three children when the Death Eaters attacked. What was so odd about these attacks was they only immobilised their families, but left them otherwise unharmed. Aurors at the ministry believe He Who Must Not Be Named wanted to either torture or kill the muggle-borns to use as Inferi. When asked, the Minister insisted they were doing all they could to locate these people. Flora Fortescue, 79, of Ottery St. Catchpole, had this to say. "It's dreadful; these were all honest, hard-working people. We've had a job trying to cover it all up with the Muggles. Memory charms and all that. The Death Eaters just barged in through all the security charms. It's like they have powers no one else has."_

The article was accompanied by a photo of a harassed-looking Minister for Magic.

"Evans? What's wrong with you?" Potter was peering over her shoulder now, noticing her stiff posture. Lily handed him the paper wordlessly.

When she entered the Wizarding World, she thought it would be like a fairytale, like all the books she'd read about magic. She thought she'd finally be accepted since she'd always stood out at primary school when strange things happened around her. But it wasn't long until people were shouting 'Mudblood' at her in the halls. It was just a select few who were against Muggle-Borns, but Lily always felt like somehow she'd never completely fit in either world.

Potter threw the paper back on the table beside Lily, and all of a sudden, she felt the crippling need to be as far away as possible from him.

At the exact moment Potter bent down beside her chair, Lily leapt out of it, startling him so much he fell backwards.

She ran to the spiral staircase that led to the girls dormitory as quickly as the packed room would allow, elbowing many first years along the way.

"Evans!" She heard Potter call after her over the din of the common room. The crowd finally thinned and she was at the staircase, leaping up them two at a time before she heard that familiar klaxon-wail and felt the stairs slipping from under her. She tried to scramble up the last few steps, but it was useless. She slid down the slide gracelessly and landed with a thump at Potter's feet.


	7. First Name Basis

Heya, thanks for all the reviews :D I'm back at school so updates won't be as frequent and I got into Pottermore so there's my free time gone xD Add me if you've gotten in: StarGoblet11

Also, sometimes I might lapse into first person P.O.V, I don't mean to, but sometimes I catch myself writing in first person and have to go back and change it, so if I miss any I'm sorry and please do let me know so I can go back and fix them xD

Much love!

* * *

><p>"The founders really didn't think that one through." Lily grumbled to herself as she picked herself off the floor. She straightened up, dusting herself off and found herself staring at Potters left shoulder- he was far taller than her and she had to crane her neck to be able to see into his eyes.<p>

"You needn't worry y'know." He said his face earnest.

Lily sighed deeply. This was not a conversation to have with Potter, of all people. When Lily didn't reply, only looking at the slide reproachfully, he pressed on.

"You-know-who will never win. Not with Dumbledore around." He said, trying to catch Lily's brilliant green eyes.

"Dumbledore is one man, Potter. I doubt even he could defeat an army of evil." Lily snapped back. She didn't take kindly to the pitying way Potter was looking at her.

"H-have…Have you heard of the Order?"

"The…what?" Lily replied, slightly taken aback at the random change in direction. She was assuming it was a band or team that had absolutely nothing to do with the topic on hand.

"The Order of the Phoenix. It's a secret organisation. Dumbledore runs it; they're trying to bring down You-Know-Who. There are loads of them; aurors, teachers, whole families are in it. They believe in the power of good over evil. They're top secret though, only a select few know about it."

"Well how do you-"

"My Mum and Dad are in it. They won't tell me anymore about it though, because if You-Know-Who finds out about it, it'll spell bad news for all of them."

Lily tried to take this in. She didn't know about any kind of order, surely she would've heard it somewhere before…maybe Potter was having her on?

Potter must have seen the suspicion in her eyes, because he hurriedly added: "I'm not joking, Evans. This is serious; I'm planning on joining as soon as I leave school. We're going to fight this war, and we're going to win."

Lily mulled this over, she knew there was a war going on, of course, but she'd never thought of fighting. Of course it made perfect sense. It was either fight or die, and Lily was not one to lie down quietly. She'd been planning on perhaps becoming a Healer once she left school. Professor McGonagall told her last year that she'd be perfect and the idea had stuck with her. The war, however, seemed far more pressing and imminent and _of course _she must fight to protect not only herself, but muggle-borns that were being attacked up and down the country.

"We're all going to fight, Lily. I'm going to fight for yo- for all muggle-borns." Potter said tentatively, watching her with the air of watching a ticking bomb.

"You called me Lily." She whispered back. Tears were now shining in her eyes at the sentiment.

Potter grinned slightly, making him appear more boyish and innocent than he had ever seemed to Lily.

"I suppose I did." He replied, rubbing the back of his neck, now gazing at the floor to avoid Lily's eyes. She could even she his cheeks reddening slightly and chuckled at the reverse of roles. Ordinarily, it was Potter who would make her blush. She thought this was probably one of the first times he was ever real with her, and in years to come, she'd always say this was one of the best moments of her life. When James Potter told her he'd fight for her, and even though he didn't even really say it, Lily heard it. In his voice, in his expression, even in the way he was standing. He would fight for her, not just for her life, but for her love.

The slide shifted itself back into stairs, bringing Lily out of the moment and bringing Potter out of the staring match he was having with his shoes.

"Goodnight…James." I said to him before swiftly turning on my heel and running up the stairs. I didn't hear his reply, if he even gave one, but that night as I lay waiting for sleep to claim me, I saw his blushing face float in front of my eyes. The ever-flickering candle in the pit of my stomach was strong now, the light travelling upwards so my heart felt warmed. I fell asleep with the silliest smile on my face

After their discussion that night, James and Lily seemed to have a better understanding of one another. They sat together in the common room occasionally, James would tell her stories of his parents adventures with the Order and Lily would make him laugh with tales about Vernon and her sister. James dropped his attempts at intellectual conversation, and became more at ease around her, though he never dared to ask her out again callously, lest he ruin their new found friendship. Sometimes, while they sat together, they would catch each other staring, and they would both turn away, smiles on their faces.

It was a tricky little dance, they skirted around the subject of James' past infatuation of her and avoided mentioning Lily's past contempt for James.

Lily was feeling less and less lonely in the castle, having found someone she could discuss almost anything with. She looked forward to their conversations, she found James to be sensitive, well-spoken and quite mature.

Lily was reflecting on their relationship in mid-April, while lying on the grass beside the lake with Mary. She was frantically scribbling in the notebook she carried everywhere with her, while Lily held her face skyward, soaking up the sun. Spring was her favourite time of year, it was sunny without being too hot and everything was in bloom, especially lily's. She breathed in the humid air, feeling quite content. Then suddenly, a shadow crossed her face. She opened her eyes reluctantly. Her eyes took a moment to adjust against the bright light of the sun before the figure of Remus Lupin came into focus.

"Lily," He spoke urgently. "I think you should see this."

Panic gripped her immediately. Remus turned on his heel and set off swiftly for the castle, not turning to see if she was following. Lily ran after him.

"Remus? Remus? What's going on?" Lily struggled to keep up with his considerably longer strides, her breath catching in my throat.

The pair were only just inside the Entrance Hall when Lily discovered what he was on about.

There, in the middle of the hall, in full view of half the school, James, Sirius and Peter stood in a semi-circle in front of three figures suspended in the air.


	8. In Misery

Sorry it's a bit short, thanks for reviewing! x

* * *

><p>"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" Her voice thundered around the Great Hall, threatening and shrill.<p>

James jumped at the sight of her, frowning as her loud voice pierced his ears. The three Marauders instantly lowered their wands; their once gleeful faces were now looked boyishly guilty.

"LET THEM DOWN. NOW." She shouted again, pink rising in her cheeks.

"Lily, they started it." James said, feebly.

Lily eyed him coldly; she had never felt so foolish in all her life. She should never have expected him to change. He was James Potter after all.

She wished the ground would swallow her up, but she was a prefect, after all. This was a situation she had to deal with, whether she liked it or not. She gave Potter one last piercing glare before rolling up her sleeves and pulling out her wand.

She pointed her wand at the three boys dangling in the air and thought 'Liberacorpus' before quickly performing a Cushioning Charm so they didn't crack their skulls open on the stone floor.

"Aww, c'mon Evans, they deserved it. They were bad-mouthing you!" Sirius exclaimed.

"I don't need you to fight my battles for me, Black. I'm perfectly capable of standing up for myself."

"B-but you weren't here." Pettigrew piped up, his voice uncertain.

"Which makes them cowards. You should have ignored them. You're as bad as they are." She spat, bitterly. She spared Potter another glance; he was steadfastly observing his shoes again.

She then pointed her wand at each of the boys on the floor in turn and said "Rennervate"

As they all gradually opened their eyes, she could see each of them had been hit with various unpleasant, albeit harmless, jinxes. Severus had been hit with the Bat-Bogey hex and Avery's repeated failed attempts to stand up obviously meant he'd been the recipient of the Jelly-Legs jinx.

"Detention, all of you." Lily said, her voice hard and cold. Severus' eyes met her hers for a split second. She though she saw a hint of longing in those dark eyes before his face broke out into a scowl and he took off across the hall towards the dungeons, not bothering to wait for the other two.

"Thanks for you help, _prefect._" She said to Remus as the crowd began to disperse.

"Lily," Potter was at her side, his hand on her arm.

"Save it." She replied, not even bothering to look at him before she took off at a run for the first-floor bathrooms.

Lily was devastated at ending up back here, falling back towards those first few months of sixth year. The impenetrable loneliness was creeping up again, claiming her heart and making it ache.

Sun was streaming into the dingy bathroom via the one, filthy window in the corner. The heat, even in here, was sweltering. She sat atop a toilet seat, willing the tears to stop when she heard a creak by the door. Whipping her head around, she saw the door close. Probably some First Year looking for a toilet and leaving promptly when they heard her sobs.

She pulled some toilet roll from the holder and dabbed at her eyes, willing herself to calm down. She heaved a few more sobs and took a few deep breaths. She was relatively calm until she thought about how humiliating it was, standing there in front of everyone, just as she'd done less than a year ago. Most of them probably knew about her friendship with both Severus and Potter. They probably thought her a fool. She _was _a fool.

She started crying all over again, tears running the length of her face, off her chin and splashing on her uniform. She didn't even bother to wipe them away, letting them flow freely. She didn't know how long she'd been in the bathroom, but the patch of sunlight in the room was no more.

She heard a squeak, like a trainer on one of the gritty tiles.

She pulled out her wand, her eyes sweeping the room. It could've just been Moaning Myrtle trying to scare her but it couldn't have been, Myrtle had swooped down her U-bend once Lily had come in and hadn't resurfaced at all.

"Homenum Revelio." She whispered.

At once, a marker appeared, and an audible shiver echoed through the room.

"Show yourself!" Lily commanded.

A moment passed before she heard a rustling and saw a silvery cloak fall to the floor.

"Potter?" She exclaimed. "What are you doing here? Get out!"

"Lily, just give me a chance to explain, okay?" He said, pleadingly.

"There's nothing to say. You're just a bully, I shouldn't have been so foolish as to think you could change." Lily turned her back to him, pretending to wash her hands in a sink but in reality she was hiding her tear-stained cheeks.

"Change for what?" He said quietly.

This stumped Lily. She knew he was trying to get her to admit she had feelings for him, but she didn't know if she could.

"Change for the better? Change so I don't have to keep giving you detentions all the time? I thought we were friends, James." She turned around slowly, to see him advancing on her, an angry look in his eyes.

Lily was quite terrified, she had never seen him look this angry or…determined before. Not even when dealing with Severus. It seemed she had pushed a button. He reached her, grabbing her arm roughly and pulling her closer to him. Lily could feel heat coming off him in waves and thought her heart would pound right out of her chest.


	9. Bathroom Confessions

I'm sorry for the wait, my laptop broke! I hope you don't hate me too much for the cliffhanger, and for this...

* * *

><p>Lily could feel heat coming off him in waves and thought her heart would pound right out of her chest.<p>

"Don't lie to me, Lily Evans. You feel something for me and I know it." His brown eyes bore into her green ones, almost as if he was trying to read her mind.

"I-I don't know what I feel." She said fearfully.

"Bullshit! You're so stubborn; you can't even tell me what you want. Well, I'll tell you what I want, Lily, I want you. You know that as well as I do, I change for only you, I'd do anything you ask of me but it's not fair because you wouldn't do the same for me."

"I never asked you to change." Lily said quietly, no longer able to look into his face.

"But it's there, every time we talk, I feel like we're connecting and then you pull away when we're around other people. You don't like how I act and you expect me to change but I can't do that unless you tell me something."

Lily couldn't deny everything he was true, he had hit the nail on the head completely and it terrified her, even more so than the way she just wanted him to shut up and kiss her.

"Tell you what?" She looked back into his eyes, reluctantly, craning her neck painfully.

"Tell me that it's worth it," He dropped her arm, his voice softer and more tender than before. "Tell me that if I gave it all up for you, you'd give it all up for me. The reason we had Snape and the rest in the air earlier is because he was giving me grief over you being muggle-born. I'm not sorry, Lily, I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I'd defend you to the end of the earth, if that's what you wanted." His eyes were searching her face again, almost begging. It was hard to look at the raw emotion on his face, but she couldn't turn away.

In the past, she always gave herself reasons to dislike James, to hide her attraction to him and save herself embarrassment. Most of them were true, he was arrogant, he was a bully, and he was spoiled. But he always stood up for what was right, he never let anyone walk all over him; he never let his money dictate him. All of his friends came from different backgrounds, he didn't discriminate, he was generous, incredibly, infuriatingly clever. He was honest, caring, proud, and absolutely gorgeous, and here he was, trying to commit himself to her.

And still, she couldn't let herself be vulnerable.

"How did you find me in here?"

"Don't avoid the question."

"Where did you get that Invisibility Cloak?"

"Lily."

She looked down again, he was very close now, and all he had to do was dip his head to hers. But Lily knew he wouldn't, he needed her word, and she just couldn't give it to him.

"I have to go." She whispered, pushing by him to the door.

"Lily, Lily!"

She slammed the door behind her and ran all the way to the tower. She ignored the stares of her fellow Gryffindors and took the stairs to the dormitory two at a time.

That night was one of the worst of Lily's life, she sobbed until the wee hours of the morning. The other girls asked her what was wrong but she just shook her head and eventually they let her be.

James was waiting for her to speak first. He'd basically bared his soul to her, so it was her turn. She knew she should seek out a conversation with him; tell him how she really felt but the longer she left it, the harder it was.

Because of course she loved him. She had completely fallen in love with the James Potter who had come and found her when she was upset, who had defended her, who had tried, time and time again, to prove himself to her and she'd dismissed his advances as nothing more than a nuisance to be dealt with and occasionally flattered by.

Now, when he walked by her in the halls, he tried to avoid her eyes and ignore Sirius' nudging and whispers of "There she is, there mate." He obviously hadn't told anyone, what teenage boy as proud as James would tell his friends of his rejection.

Because that's what it was, essentially. A rejection. She hadn't given him an answer as such but he seemed to have taken her silence as one.

She didn't have much time to dwell on it, however. Exam time was upon them and all of the 6th years were up to their necks in work.

She feverishly revised, working until all hours in the common room. She was determined that this year wouldn't be a total failure and she would at least do well in her exams.

And well she did, she flew through the final, gruelling week of school, for once happy to be returning to Cokeworth to her family. Though she found herself often anxious at the thought of leaving Hogwarts without having given James a proper answer, she just couldn't seem to bring herself to approach him with that one, simple 'yes'. On his part, James had seemingly kept his head down, she hadn't heard of him getting any more detentions, or even a mild telling-off in class. Lily wasn't so self-absorbed to think this was for her benefit; it was probably the productt of a Howler James had gotten from his mother a few weeks ago, after McGonagall had written home to describe the Snape incident.

Over breakfast, a snowy-white owl had swooped over the table, arriving much earlier than the other birds and landing directly in front of James, he had attempted to run when he realised it was a Howler, but he had barely made it to the doors of the Great Hall before the letter exploded in his hand and his mothers voice boomed throughout the room. Lily didn't hear much of it, the laughter in the room combined with her own desire to thoroughly ignore it meant she only caught a few phrases like:

"Can't believe you, did I not raise you right?"

And:

"If you put one more toe out of line you'll not see the inside of Hogwarts for the rest of your life."

It was odd to see James abashed by getting in trouble, but it seemed he finally knew he'd stepped over the line.


	10. Final Decisions

Hey, I've decided this is going to be the last chapter of Terrible Things, I might to a sequel, but I think this is definitely a nice, neat ending. So thanks for the reviews, and keep an eye out for a sequel if you're interested!

Thanks so much,

Nicole x

* * *

><p>She couldn't understand what was wrong with her. Why couldn't she tell James how she felt? He'd grown up; he'd given her a dozen reasons why she should commit herself to him. She wanted to, she thought about nothing but James these days, her heart would flutter when he walked past. She would watch him out of the corner of her eye in the common room, entranced when the muscles of his back would move underneath his shirt as he stretched out his long limbs after a particularly long studying session.<p>

She wanted to talk to him, just to hear his voice, to feel its soothing, calming quality, see the twinkle in his eye, the smirk on his face. Just to be near him would be enough, but she couldn't get over that barrier. It felt like there was a tiny pane of glass between them, but to break it, Lily had to give up something. She couldn't put her finger on it though, was it her independence? Her future? Her sense of self? What's the worst that could happen? She asked herself these questions daily until she finally boarded the Hogwarts express, bound for home.

The journey home was marred by Lily's heart leaping into her mouth every time the compartment door slid open. Every time someone poked their heads around the door she would look up in fright and intrigue, unable to concentrate on the paper she was reading. The Daily Prophet was full of the same stories of doom and gloom every day now. Lily couldn't, for the life of her, understand why no one seemed to be fighting back. James had told her about The Order of the Phoenix but she could see little or no evidence of their work anywhere. All she saw as she peered at the front page of the newspaper was a weary-looking Millicent Bagnold, surrounded by reporters.

Eventually, she gave up on reading and threw the magazine aside. The other girls were in the compartment with her, but they no longer bothered to try and include her in conversation. She'd been too distant this year; she'd pushed them away. She couldn't blame them for growing tired of her; she'd grown tired of herself after all these months of constant second-guessing, questions, uncertainties and loneliness. She'd been staring out the window for a good twenty minutes before she grew hungry, and decided to go find the witch with the food-trolley.

"I'm going to find the food trolley, does anybody want anything?" Lily asked the group, not really certain any of them were listening.

Emmeline was, she gave her two sickles to get her some Drooble's Best-Blowing Gum. Lily slid out of the compartment, and bumped right into Remus Lupin, who looked incredibly worn-out, but had a boyish smile on his face nonetheless.

"Remus!" Lily exclaimed.

"Sorry, Lily. I didn't see you there." He replied "Listen, Lily. I'm sorry about that little incident a few weeks ago, I should've done more to stop them rather than running to you for help."

"That's alright, Remus. Really, I understand. I'm sorry for being so catty to you afterwards."

Remus only nodded and smiled before he excused himself. Lily continued down the train, greeting many acquaintances who wished her a good summer, before a compartment door to her left slid open at great velocity and James Potter came tumbling out.

"Lily!" James said, once he had straightened himself up. "I'm sorry, Sirius-he was messing…pushed-are you okay."

"I'm fine." Lily said, rather frightened, overwhelmed and possibly even frozen to the spot. It was just like James to come tumbling out at the very last moment. It had to be a sign, Lily thought to herself, it's now or never.

"How's…your journey so far?" Lily blurted it out before she knew what she was saying. She cursed herself inwardly, _your journey so far?_

"It's eh…it's been fine," James replied, looking as confused as Lily expected him to be. "…yours?" He added as an afterthought.

This was the moment. She had to summon the courage and stop being a coward. She was a Gryffindor, for Merlin's sake. She had to take the leap into the unknown, and deal with whatever she found there when she arrived. She took a deep breath, this was the moment.

James looked uncomfortable. Well, Lily thought, this might help.

"Yes." She said, making sure she didn't let her nerves shake her voice. James looked blankly back at her. He looked ridiculously vulnerable standing there in his muggle clothes, a plain t-shirt and jeans. His hair was in its usual state of disarray and his round-glasses kept catching the sunlight.

"Yes, James. Yes, I'll go out with you." Lily felt as if she were dangling on the edge of a cliff, peering over the edge into a dark abyss. Beads of sweat were beginning to build on her forehead.

James looked as if he hardly dared to believe his ears, his face a picture of incredulity.

"Yes?" He asked.

"Yes, you idiot." Lily laughed at his expression, and finally, finally rushed into his arms. James enveloped her in a hug so tight it seemed to cut off the circulation of her blood, but it didn't matter, because as she rested her head in the crook of his neck, she thought she would quite like to stay there forever. After a long time, in which Lily was very aware of the stared they were receiving, they pulled apart. James' eyes were shining with happiness, but the expression on Lily's face was serious; one of determination. She placed a long, slender hand against his chest, standing on her tiptoes so she could see into his face. James copped on to what she was trying to do, and placed a loving hand against her cheek, his thumb caressing her cheekbone. And all at once, it was two much for either of them to bear any longer. Their lips collided together, instantly moving together, making Lily's whole body sing. She could've kissed him forever. His lips were surprisingly soft and plump and caressed her own, not with careful precision, but with an unpractised passion, as if instinct had taken over.

The clapping they heard from the compartment behind them made them break apart, suddenly remembering they were not the only people in the world. Sirius and Peter came out to join them, James being clapped on the back, and for the first time that entire year, Lily felt at peace with herself, and as she rested her head back against his chest, she decided, yes. She would stay here forever.


End file.
